i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
