Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
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Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
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Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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