youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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