you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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