I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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