hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
