So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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