Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
