omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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