so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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