Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Quick, to the slutcave!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
