some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize