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garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
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