Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  you're drinking in the law library????

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  ...not a bad idea....

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  probably not a good idea either.

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  (978): you're drinking in the law library???? (978): ...not a bad idea.... (508): probably not a good idea either. http://tfl.nu/gi3r
  Replies (28) Good night (1293) Bad night (573)
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  (716): View more from New York

  People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz

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  (716): People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz http://tfl.nu/sutg
  Replies (87) Good night (16144) Bad night (3074)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with

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  (518): i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you. (202): and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with http://tfl.nu/tq5v
  Replies (10) Good night (1628) Bad night (3466)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.

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  (610): I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible. http://tfl.nu/74be
  Replies (9) Good night (4308) Bad night (1002)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.

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  (902): This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being. http://tfl.nu/gtcm
  Replies (8) Good night (3739) Bad night (947)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.

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  (360): I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised. http://tfl.nu/zjt1
  Replies (6) Good night (2407) Bad night (963)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.

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  (513): Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that. http://tfl.nu/9urh
  Replies (1) Good night (1634) Bad night (746)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.

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  (201): Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that. http://tfl.nu/wq84
  Replies (7) Good night (1396) Bad night (640)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.

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  (708): I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure. http://tfl.nu/qn53
  Replies (2) Good night (1267) Bad night (441)
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  (+45): View more from Denmark

  I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned

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  (+45): I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned http://tfl.nu/8ezp
  Replies (6) Good night (923) Bad night (511)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?

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  (315): Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal? http://tfl.nu/b8jf
  Replies (16) Good night (1074) Bad night (401)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.

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  (201): In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me. http://tfl.nu/k6g0
  Replies (1) Good night (324) Bad night (577)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.

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  (561): It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment. http://tfl.nu/pafa
  Replies (5) Good night (797) Bad night (328)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.

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  (512): Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft. http://tfl.nu/e6pd
  Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (243)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.

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  (757): Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up. http://tfl.nu/3jb6
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (151)

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