The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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