"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Congratulations! We have a period
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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