You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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