They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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