I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
