Do you still have your period?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
