omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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