if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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