I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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