Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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