we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
