why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
