i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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