your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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