it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
