I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
