Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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