Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
