idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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