I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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