Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Its about making memories worth repressing
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
