doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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