so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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