32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
