My Higher Power is John Stamos
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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