I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
my liver is dry heaving
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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