Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
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her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
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It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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