yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
