i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
