he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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