just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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