Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
