You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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