Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize