We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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