Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
love makes seman taste better
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
