So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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