seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
