My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Even my vagina gasped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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