can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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