Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I need to calm my uterus...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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