No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
