Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
