I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Come back. Shots need mouths.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
This toilet bowl is my home.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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