I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
