Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
