Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
