In the future we'll all be gay
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
