so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
