This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
false alarm. still invincible.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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