mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize