he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
